Lyric

The envelope bent

When it hit the floor

My name in the window

Like a small accusation

I left it unopened

Beside yesterday’s cup

Not because I forgot

Because I knew

Rent was due

A reply was due

Some version of progress

Was due by Monday

I stood in the kitchen

With one light on

Breathing like payment

Had to be approved

Nothing collapsed

Nothing broke through

The room stayed still

And kept charging me

I am behind

On things with no amount

Behind on sleep

Behind on proof

Behind on the person

I said I would become

Behind on the silence

I promised to use

A notification waited

Without a sound

A message from someone

I still cared about

I read the first line

Then closed the screen

Like care could remain

If I did not answer

The gym sent an offer

The course sent a reminder

My face in the black glass

Looked almost employable

Almost forgiven

Almost awake

Almost the kind of man

Who keeps up with his life

Nobody shouted

Nobody came through

The world just refreshed

And counted me late

I am behind

On things with no amount

Behind on calls

Behind on truth

Behind on the body

I keep promising water

Behind on the future

I keep making small

There is a fee

For taking too long

To become useful

There is a fee

For answering late

A fee for resting

Before the work is visible

A fee for needing proof

That you are still allowed

I used to think debt

Was only money

Then I watched a whole week

Leave my hands

And come back as pressure

The rent wants a number

The screen wants a face

The work wants a reason

The mirror wants change

The people want something

The silence wants space

And I keep arriving

A little too late

I am not ruined

That would be clearer

I am not empty

That would be simple

I am here

With a name that still works

A key that still turns

A phone that still lights

A pulse in the room

Like a charge going through

I am behind

On things with no amount

Behind on sleep

Behind on proof

Behind on the person

I said I would become

Behind on the life

I was supposed to move through

Late Fees for Existing

Not a punishment

Not a mistake

Just the quiet cost

Of staying here

And paying late

Tomorrow will open

Like another bill

Same name

New date

I will make one payment

With whatever is left

One answer

One breath

One clean hour

I do not give away