Lyric

She asked me something

I didn't know the answer

So without even thinking

I said

“Let's just Google it.”

I pulled out my phone

Opened up Google

I was about to tap the search bar

Then I froze

Oh, no

If I tap that search bar

I'm dead

I know what's gonna show up

Searches about problems with my girlfriend

Porn

Dating app tips

All of it

Right there on my screen

One tap

And I'm dead

“Wait, I think I remember.”

I tried to explain it

She looked at me

“Isn't that wrong?”

“Really?”

“Hmm...”

Then she looked at my phone

“Aren't you gonna look it up?”

Hold on

I almost got it

Just give me a second

Let me think

What the hell do I do?

One tap

That's all it takes

One tap

And everything blows up

One tap

That's all it takes

One tap

And I'm dead

Come on, think

There's gotta be a way out

Don't touch that search bar

Not yet

Wait

Why don't you look it up yourself?

Why am I the one—

Oh, right

I'm the one who said we'd Google it

Damn it

Why did I suggest this?

Idiot

And why doesn't she know this anyway?

Wait

I don't know either

Maybe my battery will die

I checked

Eighty percent

Of course

Wait a second

Why does this feature even exist?

Who thought this was a good idea?

I swear a woman designed this

Screw you, Google

Maybe somebody'll call

Come on

Anybody

No

My best friend

Where the hell is that guy?

He calls me all the damn time

When I don't need him

Call me now

Come on, man

You call me for the dumbest shit

Call me now

Just this once

Okay

This is getting way too suspicious

I need something

Anything

Come on

Think

Hey, me

Do something

Wait

I could pick her up

Carry her to bed

Yeah

That might work

No

Too late

I missed my chance

If I do that now

She's gonna know something's up

“Wait

What were we looking up again?”

“Stop messing around.”

“Just look it up.”

“Okay, okay.”

Just

Give me a second

Why am I going through this?

What did I even do?

I even walk her damn dog

How is this happening to me?

How the hell did I end up here?

You know what?

I've done enough

Seriously

I've done enough

This one minute

Feels longer than all the time

We've been together

Maybe

Maybe I'm okay if we break up

Maybe I just let her see it

Let it happen

No

Hell no

Not now

No way

All right

I'm doing it

Light speed

I'll wait for her to blink

One blink

That's all I need

The second her eyes close

Tap

Type

Search

Done

She won't see a thing

Come on

Blink

Come on

Okay

My phone rings

What?

My best friend?

HEY!

MY MAN!

I knew I could count on you!

I'm buying next time!

“What?”

Talk to you later!

I'm alive

I'm alive

Somehow I made it out

One phone call

That's all it took

My best friend

My goddamn hero

Okay

Now I can do this

No panic

No problem

I looked it up

Crisis avoided

And then

I noticed something

She was sitting at my computer

I swear I saw death

The chair slowly turned around