Lyric

I wake up tired of waking up

Another day I never asked for

I wear the smile they recognize

Then fall apart behind the door

I leave the messages unread

I don't know what I'm meant to say

Everybody tells me I'll be fine

But I feel less alive each day

I don't wanna die

I just don't wanna live like this

Every breath feels borrowed

Every hope feels like a risk

I'm not okay

I'm barely here

I'm losing pieces of myself

With every year

But underneath

All this regret

Something in me

Hasn't given up yet

Not a miracle

Not a light

Just one small heartbeat

Still fighting tonight

I'm not saved

I'm not healed

I'm just

Not gone yet

I stopped believing things could change

Somewhere between then and now

I learned to laugh at all the right times

I learned to never ask them how

The room gets quiet after midnight

That's when the truth comes back again

That every version of tomorrow

Feels like today with different names

I know they mean it

When they say they care

But love can feel so far away

When you can't feel yourself in there

I'm not okay

I'm barely here

The person in the mirror

Keeps disappearing year by year

And every dream

I haven't met

Feels like another thing

I'm learning to forget

No silver lining

No sunrise yet

Just one small heartbeat

I haven't silenced yet

I'm not saved

I'm not healed

I'm just

Not gone yet

Maybe this is all I am

A room that never sees the sun

Maybe hope is just a word

For people who still have some

Maybe I will never know

What everybody else can feel

Maybe getting through the night

Is the only thing that's real

I don't know why

I still stay

I don't know why

I wake

But something keeps

Pulling air

Into my lungs

I'm not okay

And that's still true

I haven't found a reason

That could make me feel brand new

I still get lost

Inside my head

I still lie awake

And wish that I could disappear instead

But underneath

All this regret

Something in me

Hasn't given up yet

Not a promise

Not a sign

Not some beautiful answer

Showing up in time

Just this heartbeat

Weak and small

Still refusing

To stop at all

I'm not saved

I'm not healed

I'm not suddenly

Learning how to feel

But tonight

I made it through

And maybe that's

The only hope

I need to hold onto

Not gone yet

Not gone yet

No, I'm not better

I'm just

Not gone yet