Rafflesia Dance

I am someone who carries deep-seated feelings of inferiority.
I wanted to be someone else-not myself.
The popular kids. Their clothes, the way they talked, the way they lived.
I tried to mimic all of it.
Even when I liked something, I pretended not to if they disliked it.
Even if I didn't care, I longed for expensive clothes that were far out of my reach-just because they wore them.

This song is, in a way, my confession.

The more I tried to become like them, the more hollow I felt inside.
No-rather than becoming like them,
I realized I was becoming something else entirely.
Something that could never fit their mold, no matter how much I forced it.

I had few people around me I could call friends.
And even fewer reasons to believe someone might like me.

Eventually, I came to a realization:
I didn't need to become someone else.
What I truly wanted...
was to be a delicate rose that draws bees with sweet fragrance-
to show myself proudly to the world and be loved.

But I wasn't a rose.

All I could do was imitate its red hue.
Flutter oversized petals, emit a grotesque sound,
and release a stench that attracts only flies.
A Rafflesia, hiding in a damp, sunless forest,
waiting-hoping-that someone, someday, might find me.

That's the kind of self I faced while writing Rafflesia Dance.
Now, with this song,
I'm here to kill the old me.

That's all.