

A tiny wound I didn’t see
No it’s all I can feelin’ inside me
It grew so big I let it stay
Didn’t fight I gave it my name
Pain feels sweet when it’s always there
It keeps me calm it makes me scare
ねえ こんなふうに 笑っていればいいかな
壊れた仮面にも気付かない 惨めな道化演じてる
あなたのその目は 憐れみという地獄
それは 優しさ? それとも 僕を嘲笑うための演技
誰にも理解できない孤独を 笑われることが怖くて
生まれたら生き続けるしかない 美しく残酷な世界
Am I sick?
Am I wrong?
Am I crazy?
Am I sick?
Am I wrong?
Am I crazy?
I live just to die
Why was I ever born?
Yes, Life feels so hollow so cold, so cold
Am I sick?
Am I wrong?
Am I crazy?
Am I sick?
Am I wrong?
Am I crazy?
I must say I’m sorry to my mother, to you
For being born and for dying alone
Am I sick?
Am I wrong?
Am I crazy?
Am I sick?
Am I wrong?
Am I crazy?
I ‘m tired of this joke
No reason just slow death
You live like time is free
While I bleed quietly
I ‘m tired of this joke
No reason just slow death
これは夢なの? 近づくほど遠のくあなたは幻
A prayer without a clear sky to fall
A hope that fades to so fades too soon
Maybe I’m not one of you
Maybe I’m something true
Laugh at me
Go ahead
I’m already half-dead
I failed as a human being
Fading in the noise of time as my world collapse in rhyme
While your world forgets my name beneath a frozen smile
生まれてきたこと自体あやまち 僕は否定されて嗤う
人間のつもりでいた 醜く歪で 壊れて動かなくなっても
As silence swallows every scream
As silence swallows every scream
I tried to laugh tried to stay sane
But shadows grew in my brain
I hear my voice but it’s not mine
Split in echoes out of time
The clock keeps ticking but I stay still
I tried to laugh tried to stay sane
But shadows grew in my brain
My mind is mirror with crack to deep I smile in silence
I’m no longer human
I am done
- Lyricist
aoi mukai
- Composer
aoi mukai
- Producer
aoi mukai
- Mixing Engineer
aoi mukai
- Mastering Engineer
aoi mukai
- Graphic Design
aoi mukai
- Programming
aoi mukai

Listen to ad nihilum - No Longer Human by aoi mukai
Streaming / Download
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ad nihilum - No Longer Human
aoi mukai
E
A song that explores the distortion of identity and the quiet collapse of the self.
What begins as a tiny, unnoticed wound slowly grows,
consuming the mind until it becomes impossible to escape.
Blending Japanese and English lyrics, this track expresses
isolation, self-denial, and the fear of being seen as "different."
Heavy, emotional soundscapes collide with fragile silence,
capturing the essence of aoi mukai's dark and introspective world.
Artist Profile
aoi mukai
Aoi Mukai is a Japanese multi-creative artist combining music, short films, and poetic narratives. His sound blends electronic, ambient, and emotional pop elements, creating a cinematic world called Mukai.
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