Lyric

Say no

I already know

I'm only pretending

Pretending to say no

One little sound in a quiet room

Blue light spilling across my face

I read your message more than once

Like different words might change my mind

I know exactly where this goes

That's what should make it easy

But every reason not to see you

Sounds colder every time I read it

I type a sentence

Erase it twice

Let the screen go dark again

The future I should choose gets further

The longer your name stays in my hands

I was only pretending to say no

Looking for words I didn't mean

Every answer sounded right

But none of them sounded like me

I know what happens if I see you

I know what starts again tonight

I kept looking for a way to say no

When I'd already made up my mind

Right and wrong look clean in daylight

They lose their edges after two

Nothing about the smarter choice

Has ever felt as warm as you

I tell myself to leave it there

No answer

No another time

But silence starts to feel like lying

When I've already crossed that line

The meaning blurs the more I read it

Every letter pulls me in

Reason loosens without a sound

And I stop trying to hold the thread

I was only pretending to say no

Looking for words I didn't mean

Every answer sounded right

But none of them sounded like me

I know what happens if I see you

I know what starts again tonight

I kept looking for a way to say no

When I'd already made up my mind

Maybe I should let the message fade

Maybe morning makes me stronger

Maybe if I wait another minute

I'll remember why I left

But my coat is already in my hands

And your address is in my head

I haven't even answered you

But I'm halfway there instead

I was only pretending to say no

Looking for words I never meant

Every careful little answer

Fell apart before I sent it

I know what happens if I see you

I know exactly what it costs

I know the future I was choosing

Gets a little further off

I said I wouldn't go back

But your name still changes everything

One little sound

One line from you

And all my reasons lose their weight

I could still turn around tonight

I could still leave this where it was

But I was never choosing whether

I was choosing when to give in

I was only pretending to say no

Like there was something left to decide

Your name is glowing in the dark

I finally type

Where are you?