shiawase

SHIAWASE
Shiawase isn`t about obtaining the life you once imagined.
It`s not the reward for doing everything right.
It`s the moment you learn to love a reality that isn`t perfect.
When I was young, the future looked louder.
Brighter.
I pictured myself inside applause and spotlights,
certain I would stand somewhere extraordinary.
But where I stand now
is on oil-stained floors,
in parking lots after overtime,
at the doorway on a drizzly morning.
And still, I find myself thinking:
This isn`t bad.
Actually I might be pretty happy.
SHIAWASE is the record of a man
who kept chasing a dream
and arrived not at success,
but at acceptance.
The anxiety never fully disappears.
There are nights when old classmates`promotions and titles
make my chest tighten.
Moments when I wonder,
Did I choose the wrong path?
But I didn`t keep making music to beat anyone else.
I kept making it
so I wouldn`t lose myself.
The eleven tracks on this album
aren`t stories of triumph.
They`re about getting laughed at for gaining weight.
About crouching over puddles in the rain with my child.
About feeling a small sense of accomplishment
and wearing dirty work clothes home
like they`re medals.
Ordinary days.
The kind you can find anywhere.
But one day you realize
those ordinary days
are the only life you`ll ever have.
The smell of the clubroom
where I sat on the bench year after year.
The regrets of not trying harder.
The nights with my face buried in a pillow.
The quiet sound of my family sleeping.
They all connect
one long line
becoming this voice.
When I was young, I wanted to be special.
Now, I just want to protect what matters.
The shape of the dream has changed.
But the reason I chase it hasn`t disappeared.
To look at everything
the flaws, the detours, the unfinished part
and still be able to smile and say,
This is me.
This isn`t an album meant to change your life.
It`s an album meant to affirm mine.
Maybe the things I thought I was still chasing
had already come true.
Something ordinary.
Something you can find anywhere.
Something that isn`t guaranteed.
That`s what this album quietly calls by name.
SHIAWASE.
This isn`t a story about success.
It`s a story about learning to love where you stand.
The way you chase your dream can change.
Its shape can change.
But the reason I never stopped making music
is right here.