Lyric

The kitchen light is gentle

The hallway knows my name

I hear the voices that raised me

Still asking me to stay

The table holds its old warmth

The door remembers my face

I walk in wearing calmness

Like a coat I cannot place

They never meant to make it heavy

They only wanted me safe

But every hope they placed on me

Sank lower than my face

I learned to smile before they worried

To answer before they asked

To hide the water in my chest

And make the breathing last

Family weight

In blue water

Gentle hands

Pulling me under

Love can be warm

And still make it harder

I carry family weight

In blue water

They gave me names to live up to

Soft enough to sound like care

Strong one, good one, steady one

The one who would be there

I kept my shoulders open

I kept my own voice low

I let their brighter futures

Tell me where to go

The old room still fits around me

But I do not fit the same

There is a younger version breathing

Underneath my name

I know they would not hurt me

I know they would not choose

To make their love a pressure

I was scared to refuse

But gentle hands can still be heavy

And kindness still can weigh

A blessing can become a tether

When you cannot turn away

I was the calmest one in the room

The safest place to lean

I held the shape they needed

And lost the shape of me

Family weight

In blue water

Gentle hands

Pulling me under

Love can be warm

And still make it harder

I carry family weight

In blue water

I do not want to leave them

I do not want to drown

I only need a little room

Where I can set it down

The blood inside my body

Does not have to be a chain

I can love the hands that held me

And still step out of frame

I can hear them from the surface

I can answer when I choose

I can keep the love they gave me

Without carrying all they lose

I was not born to be the ocean

For every fear they knew

I was not made to disappear

Inside somebody’s blue

Family weight

In blue water

I am still their son

But not their shelter

Love can be warm

And still make it harder

I carry family weight

In blue water

Family weight

In blue water

I loosen one hand

I breathe a little farther

Home is still home

But the depth is smaller

I carry what is mine

And leave the rest in the water

The kitchen light is gentle

The hallway knows my name

I walk out breathing slowly

Not broken, not the same