

For thirty years, the afternoon
Lay gold across our table
Our child laughed into a cup;
Small heels still missed the floor
My husband cut the supper bread
With hands that never trembled
We filled three bowls, we slept, we woke
We had all we could need
Nothing needed changing
We had everything
The light lay gold between us
Soft as a living thing
Nothing needed mending
No shadow crossed the wall
I thought the gold was lasting
It had not moved at all
One day an apple left my hand
And struck the kitchen floor
It rolled behind the pantry wall
Where no stair stood before
Down under roots, down under rain
It stopped against a door
Whose ancient wood was stitched with green
Like something I had drawn
I knew that door from one old tale
I used to tell our child:
Below the world, an angel waits
And answers when bells chime
I took the apple home again
The room shone on as ever
A thumb-dark bruise spread through the red
I had not seen one there
The soup stayed warm from noon to noon
The bread refused to stale
Our child's shoes fit year on year
No new notch marked the rail
The patch I sewed had never thinned
The light kept one old shape
The apple softened in my palm
The only thing that changed
I knew the weight above my face
I knew his cooling hand
The final breath had come and gone;
The next had never come
I knew our child had thrown two names
Against a field of stone
Then gold had filled the dining room
No one asked how we came home
Nothing needed changing
We had everything
The light lay gold between us
Still as a painted thing
Nothing needed mending
No shadow crossed the wall
It was not gold. It simply
Had never moved at all
I left them laughing at the table
And found the door again
This time its copper seam gave way;
The stairs went down within
Down under root and rain and room
Down farther than before
No angel waited at the end
One bell rose from the floor
A bronze bell taller than our house
Hung where the dark began
I pulled its rope. The sound became
A voice without a breath:
“Tell me what must change.”
“What did our child ask of you?”
The bell repeated two old names—
My husband's name and mine
“Are we alive?”
“You are answered.”
“Then tell me what is right.”
“You ask. I answer. That is all.”
The bronze fell still again
I climbed back through the copper door
Our child was laughing still
My husband set three bowls again
Beneath the window light
He touched my cheek. Our child reached up
And leaned against my knee
Their warmth made nothing easier
Their love made nothing clear
I told them of the two old names
And what the bell had said
Our child held tightly to our sleeves:
“I asked for you before
If morning comes and takes you both
Must I ask for you once more?”
My husband turned the apple's bruise
Beneath his steady thumb
We watched the light refuse to move
Until our words were done
At last, three hands closed on the fruit
That time alone had found
The three of us who once climbed home
Went down the stair together
Our child reached up and pulled the rope
The bell asked us again:
“Tell me what must change.”
“Let the apple bruise
Let supper cool
Let our child outgrow each shoe
Let silver find our hair by turns
Let night come passing through
Nothing here needs mending
Do not make another world
We have already had forever
Give this one a tomorrow.”
Nothing needed changing
Nothing here was wrong
The light was never made of gold;
It only lingered long
Nothing needed mending
We had everything
Then let the apple bruise tonight
Let's see what morning brings
The bell gave one low answer
And did not ring again
The gold slipped from the table
The first night filled the room
Our child asked, “Will morning come?”
I said, “I do not know.”
Between our hands, the apple browned
In darkness, soft and slow
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Let the Apple Bruise
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