Lyric

I know what I called mercy

Was only light on the wall

A shape that looked like shelter

Because I needed one at all

I know your hand was weather

Not a place I could remain

Still I learned the temperature

And mistook it for a name

Nothing lied completely

Nothing told the truth

I was not delivered

I was only less removed

Still under that light

Still standing where it falls

Not saved, not leaving

Just softer than before

Still under that light

With nothing left to prove

I know it will not keep me

And I still turn back to you

The city did not heal me

It only made me small

A window full of passing cars

A face in every glass

I wanted something final

Some clean and tender sign

But all I found was brightness

On the wound I kept alive

Maybe this is knowing

And not changing what I do

Maybe grief gets quiet

When it has a better view

Still under that light

Still standing where it falls

Not saved, not leaving

Just softer than before

Still under that light

With nothing left to prove

I know it will not keep me

And I still turn back to you

I don’t believe in rescue

The way I did that year

I don’t mistake your silence

For a door appearing here

But there is a kind of ruin

That learns to look composed

A loneliness so practiced

It almost feels like home

If I walk away by morning

If I make the ending clean

Some part of me stays waiting

Where the light first touched the scene

Still under that light

Still standing where it falls

Not healed, not chosen

Just visible once more

Still under that light

With every answer bruised

I know it will not save me

And I still turn back to you