Lyric

Who did you call first?

I hate

That I asked

You looked at me

Like the question

Came from somewhere

You hadn’t seen

Maybe it did

I was happy for you

I still am

But—

Who did you call first?

You’re talking fast

Telling me

How your boss called

How you thought

He was joking

How your hands

Wouldn’t stop shaking

Then—

“My sister screamed

When I told her.”

I look up

“You told her already?”

“Yeah

Right after.”

“Oh.”

You stop

“What?”

“Nothing.”

You keep looking

I look away

My hand’s still

In yours

I don’t pull it back

I just wish

I hadn’t asked

Who did you call first?

I wanted my name

To be the one

Your thumb found first

No rule

You never promised

I know

I just wanted

One thing

I didn’t have

To ask for

Who did you call first?

I wish

I didn’t care

You ask

“If it were you?”

“What?”

“Same news

Who would you call?”

I laugh once

“That’s not fair.”

“It was your question.”

I look down

A few seconds

Then—

“My mom.”

You nod

“Probably.”

“Yeah.”

I hate

How easy that was

You say

“Okay.”

“Don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

“Be right.”

“I didn’t say

I was.”

“I know.”

Who did you call first?

I wanted your answer

To be me

Even when mine

Wouldn’t be you

I know

How that sounds

Don’t make me

Say it twice

I still wish

It had been me

That’s the worst part

Who did you call first?

After a while

You say

“You were the first person

I wanted to see.”

I look at you

“That’s different.”

“Better?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you want it

To be better?”

I look down

“Yeah.”

You squeeze my hand

I let you

Who did you call first?

I still wish

You’d said my name

Even after

I said

“My mom.”

Even now

Maybe I wanted

One stupid

Little thing

I could remember

The next time

I wondered

How much

I mattered to you

You called me first

That simple

That embarrassing

I still wish

I had it

Who did you call first?

You ask

“Would it help

If I called you first

Next time?”

I look at you

“A little.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

“I know.”

You smile

I point at you

“I’m serious.”

“I know.”

I’m still

Holding your hand