Lyric

Calm and collected, never shaken by anything

Or rather, her emotions just don’t fluctuate much

She has joy, anger, sorrow, and pleasure—

But all of them register below average on the scale

Her facial muscles barely move;

Some might call her stone-faced

She’s captured her husband’s stomach and his… other valuables

She’s great at cooking and driving

A car lover with a bold, almost masculine driving skillset

She eliminates waste with absolute precision

Her room has almost nothing in it

Even the bedroom is so minimal

You’d mistake it for a solitary cell

You hesitate to give her gifts—

She makes you feel she wouldn’t need any of it

She’s a good cook, but white sauce means household doom

Her husband hates béchamel—

Or rather, he hates milk altogether

What is a symbol of peace in most homes—

A simple cream stew—

Is apparently an omen of destruction in theirs

She loves books, but since she keeps no physical items

No one understands how she reads the next volume

About forty long-series books have been left hanging

So no storylines match anymore

At first, I avoided giving spoilers

But since she hasn’t read them in ages

We stopped talking about the stories entirely

When a beautiful woman walks by, she notices

A cute woman, she says, is simply good for the eyes

Her parents got a dog for her friend’s sake—

As a replacement for her after she got married and moved out

They thought, “So I’m basically the dog now?”

Since the members taught the dog how to behave

It gets so excited it pees when they visit

Not when she does—

And honestly, that’s adorable

Calm and usually the straight-man of the group

Yet she’s surprisingly willing to join in our silliness

She’s even cosplayed fighting-game and anime characters—

Something you’d never expect from her now