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The reason I decided to write this song is because of something my midwife, who has always supported me, said: "Why don't you write a song only a mother could make? I think all the mothers will resonate with it and feel encouraged."

The lyrics were inspired by my own experiences, and I also listened to my friends and family, who were about to give birth, to hear their thoughts.

Before giving birth, the only times I saw babies were when I hung out with friends or met relatives. I had heard that being a mother was tough-sleep deprivation, no personal time, and no freedom to go to the bathroom or even eat or take a bath without rushing. I was prepared for that. But in reality, the first month after giving birth was full of intense pain, repeat cases of mastitis with high fevers, and pain relievers that didn't help. I never heard that I would suffer for months, and I didn't know that when my baby cried, my chest would tighten like this. There were moments when I thought I'd just brush my teeth, but two hours passed while I was feeding, changing diapers, dressing, and holding my baby. Some of the things I heard were not as bad as I imagined, but there were also many things I didn't hear about at all!

I didn't know how much a child could mean to me until I gave birth. I never realized how much parents cherish their children until I felt it myself.

At first, the first three months weren't filled with feelings like "Oh, how cute, my angel!" It was more like, "So precious!!! Everything is so important!!!" Every day felt so desperate.

I became so fixated on the smallest things. If my baby's head wobbled even a little, I'd be worried. If they coughed three or four times, I'd wonder if they were okay. I'd worry about the room temperature, whether they were hungry, if they were full, or if their clothes were okay. It felt like I couldn't stop worrying about everything. I was so busy, I even forgot to breathe calmly at times.

I knew that new moms sometimes feel depressed, but when you're in the middle of it, it's really tough. When I went for a checkup two weeks later and the doctor said my baby hadn't gained enough weight, I cried and apologized, thinking, "Was it because you were hungry when you cried before? I'm sorry." A simple comment from someone would stay with me for days, and I'd cry over it. My body hurt so much, I cried...

These are things I never understood before becoming a mother.

I used to wonder if it was okay to feel this way, but when I asked others, I found out that everyone goes through the same struggles. It made me feel so much lighter to realize that we're all going through it together and doing our best.

This song captures those emotions, including the not-so-pretty parts of motherhood, not just the idealized parts.

So, if there are any moms out there who are struggling, I want you to know that you're not alone. We're all in this together, and we're all doing our best. I sang this with that message in mind.

I wrote these lyrics when my baby was about 5 or 6 months old. I know that as my child grows, these feelings will change, and I might even forget how intensely I felt this way.

That's why I believe that only the "me" of now could write this song.

A day can be really hard, but before you know it, it will be over. That's why, even if it's just a tiny bit, just 1mm, if this song can give you a little bit of peace of mind, I would be so happy.

Artist Profile

  • Ai Yamaguchi

    Began studying classical piano at the age of five. From junior high school through university, she dedicated herself to the clarinet, performing in school wind ensembles and a city concert band, before majoring in clarinet at music college and undertaking formal classical training. In high school, she joined a ska band and started her career in band performance as an alto saxophonist. She also took part in arranging, songwriting, and composing, broadening her musical expression beyond genres. At 22, she was deeply moved by the music of Sukima Switch, which inspired her to pursue singing, a path she had long dreamed of since childhood. Around the age of 24, she formed the piano-vocal unit Kimiiro Lover, appearing on television and radio. After later facing health challenges, she found her way to the ukulele. She now creates music marked by naturally expressive lyrics, the gentle sound of the ukulele, and a transparent, soothing voice that quietly and deeply resonates with listeners.

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